Why Boudoir Photography?
Sometimes I find it hard to put into words why I shoot boudoir photography. To me, it is so much more than photos. It's about self-acceptance, body positivity, and art. It is about getting glammed up and laughing your butt off. It's about the transformation that takes place between the time you walk in my studio and walk back out that door. It is about feeling beautiful, and that is something I believe every person deserves.
I started shooting boudoir photography because I saw the beauty in everyone that came in our door. I believed I could show any person see what I see through my camera. Women tell me they feel they can't look "that beautiful" because they feel too tall, weigh too much, or have too many stretch marks. I loved showing them the photos from their shoot and showing that they CAN, in fact, feel beautiful. Seeing their reactions to their pictures changed me. From that moment on, I knew I had found my passion.
It was now my job to be a mirror for my clients. Not the mirror that the world shows you that shames you, but the one who sees past all of the lumps, bruises, and imperfections. The one that shows you your sparkle.
The transformation that took place in our studio is the best part of the whole experience for us. When a woman arrives in my studio, most of the time she's nervous, sometimes even visibly nervous. Shaky hands and voices, sweaty hands and faces are things I see all the time. Once they sit in the chair to get their hair and makeup done, the transformation begins. The client slowly starts to shed those signs and feelings of nervousness and anxiousness.
Then the shoot would start. The first series is to get you all warmed up. When I show the client the back of the camera after the first series, I usually hear “OH MY GOD, that's me? NO WAY that's me!". As we go into the next series and then the next, the laughter and smiles start to come out. Then she starts to feel sexy. They sexy eyes come out. And you can tell that it's starting to click with them.
By the time we finish the session and go into the reveal, we're friends. We've just shared an experience that they will always remember. We've laughed and shared stories about our lives
Once I show them their pictures on the projector screen, their jaws drop. They see themselves like they never have before. This is one of the amazing thing about boudoir photography. I get a chance to show them how I see them, how their spouse sees them and be their mirror. When they walk out that door, their smiling so big and they can't wait to tell all their friends about what they just did.
A Little Piece of My Story
I didn't quite grasp the gravity of what I was accomplishing for women until June of 2016. I had asked every woman I photographed to share why they wanted to do their boudoir photo shoot and how it made them feel. After hearing so many stories and experiences I realize that women can experience insecurities, a horrendous amount of trauma and pain and transform much in life. I really don't ever share much about me, maybe bits and pieces of my life and still avoid talking about other areas of my life.
When I was barely 21, I moved to the big city of Seattle to begin my adventurous life. I started dating an older divorced man (only 5 years older than me). After a few months I lost my innocence. I can't even really say we even had a relationship. I was really shy and awkward and did not even know what a relationship was. The relationship ended soon afterward and I was insane! Devastated! I was very insecure and became very insecure about my (beautiful young) body. So at age 22 I got breast implants. That guy was long gone out of my life and I never looked back. About 2 years later I fell in love. I fell hard. I had met him at the Top of the Hilton restaurant where I worked at. He was staying at the hotel and lived 2,980 miles away. We got to know each other a few months long distance and then I bought a plane ticket to go see him. He brought me to his brand new beautiful house, wined and dined me took me all over the East Coast. I was in euphoria with all of the romance and all the amazing chemistry happening. One week later he drives me to the airport to fly back home and he drops a bomb on me. He told he was married. I was in shock and I don't even remember the flight home or much after that. I cut off communication with him. I did not want anything to do with him, ever. I was devastated and a mess. I moved back home to my parents house and went to a psychiatrist for at least a year. Apparently when you tell someone you want to drive off a cliff they consider you suicidal. I was a case study for the anti depressant Welbutren. I am going to skip the next part about my ex-husband. Many people know him and I am just going to not even think about all of those years trying so hard to make something out of what wasn't. However he was a great dance partner.
Fast forward many years I am doing well and I am healthy and fit and then I started gaining weight really fast. And then more weight. I could not seam to work it off. I was really concerned about getting the weight off so here I go again to another plastic surgeon. This time for a new boob job and lip-suction. A lot of lipo every where on my body. Inner thighs, inner knees, under arms, belly, some where on my back, the doctor even did some sculpting under my butt. I remember him using his magic marker and drawing on my body all of the places he was going to suck out. After surgery I stayed at my parents house for recovery. I was in my dads recliner 24/7 and my mom had to spoon feed me because I could not lift the fork to my mouth. I could not lift my arms at all. I was wrapped up like a mummy. About a year and a half later my belly was back and the extra weight was back. Come to find out my thyroid was low and kept getting lower and finally crashed. It crashed so hard I got fired from my career of 16 years. I could not remember where I was or what I was doing. I had like a 5 second memory. It was brain fog.
I have really gone thru some strange experiences in my life and I am still alive! Some times we have to loose everything to wake up. Some days my jeans fit and time they don't. I have come to the conclusion that health is #1.
I love myself right now and love and appreciate my body. I look in the mirror on my down days and tell myself I am beautiful. I look at my naked body in the mirror and complement myself on my feminine curves. We are all going to get more of what we focus on. We all need to feel beautiful and confident and every day will get better and better.
I am now 54 years old, I do cross-fit and just married a wonderful man. We are so in love and excited about our life together. I think the more I love myself the more he loves me. I am really focused on taking care of myself and at my age I cannot jog off a piece of cake like I could when I was younger.
For me, boudoir photography is a celebration of your body and who you truly are. I take pride in being able to help show women how to celebrate their bodies, their battles and their victories they've been through. Let me show you your sparkle. Let me help remind you how to love and be proud yourself.
Join our Facebook Boudoir Vip Group. My group on Facebook is focused on empowering women. We laugh, make jokes, post memes and take pride in who we are as women.